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Book One

Chapter One

How do I get laid? That’s the only question that really matters. I’m three months post-breakup. It’s time for that crazy, rough, up-against-the-wall fuck that will erase five years of horrible sex. 

I need a beast.

But how? How do I go about finding a man that will treat me like a hooker? I don’t want a relationship. That takes weeks and months of work. And what if, after all that time and energy put into building a perfect union, the sex is terrible? I can’t do it again. I can’t go another five years envious of women who get to have orgasms constantly. I don’t want to cry after sex because either I didn’t have an orgasm again or because I did, and it’s so rare that it makes me blubber with happiness. I’m not doing it anymore.

The other question I have, how do I go about looking for a beast without coming off as a slut? It is so wrong in this day and age for a woman to simply want sex. We are instantly branded a whore or loose or dirty because we want sex. Why? Men get to do it all the fucking time, and yet we must wait like proper virgins with our legs closed and our eyes down.

I’m not doing that either. I am almost thirty, and I don’t have time to mess around with limp dicks or peanut-sized penises. I am over settling for less than I deserve. And I deserve a massive cock with a man who knows how to use it.


I turn around, grinning.

Carter is on my list. Currently, he has a girlfriend, and I’m not a homewrecker. But the longer I’m alone, the hornier I get, and the worse my mouth gets. I manage a pleasant, “Hey, cutie.” but in my head, I would love to see his dick.

He pulls up a chair, joining me for lunch. We work at a law firm together. He’s the assistant, and I’m an intern. I barely make enough to support my small ass apartment, but I’m doing it, by myself, something that somebody (who will remain nameless) said I couldn’t do.

Carter holds up his banana and begins to remove the outside. Does he do it slowly on purpose? Does he hold it firmly in his grip like he’s holding his cock, on purpose?

Worse yet, can he notice me drooling? My mouth is partially open, imagining what it’s like to have a massive dick sink to the back of my throat. Then he takes a sharp bite, and I blink rapidly, leaning down into my bowl of grapes.

“What are you doing this weekend?”

Binge-watching ‘Friends’ for the third time and crying myself to sleep.

I shrug, “Maybe some shopping. Need new outfits.”

“Well, we are all going to the beach. You want to come?”

“Who is all going?”

“All the guys here. Bianca, Laura, and Yvonne from the office on the first floor. Vic owns a house. He usually rents it, but he’s got it this weekend.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Vic doesn’t think you’re ready for the beach house.”

“What does that mean?”

“We do drugs, mostly. But it gets wild.”

“I don’t care about drugs.”

He chuckles. “Right.”


“You’re, you know...Everyone thinks you kind of have this goodie two shoes thing going on.”

“Goodie two shoes? Are we six?”

“You’re perfect. You dress perfectly. You don’t curse. You don’t drink. You’re crazy pretty.”

“Crazy pretty?” I laugh. “We are six.”

“You know what I mean. You’re like untouchable.”

“Yeah, I certainly feel that way. Is that the vibe I give off? I’m too good for you?”


I shake my head, “It’s called confidence. If a man can’t handle it, he can’t handle me. And I don’t need anyone around here to tell me I’m ‘crazy pretty.’ I’m fucking gorgeous.”

He grins, laughing, “Alright. Alright. Got a little fight in you. I didn’t expect that.”

“Just because I choose not to curse doesn’t mean I can’t.”

“You ever do drugs before? Like anything.”

I chew my lip, “What’s your point?”

“Do you drink, at least?”

“I don’t need to drink. I’m a ball of fun.”

He laughs, and I can’t help my smile. He is gorgeous. Brown hair, blue eyes, a build like a track star. He’s got these arms that could lift two of me. I’ve imagined them lifting me onto his cock.

I shift uncomfortably. I should have masturbated this morning.  

“Will you come?”

God, I hope so.

“Yeah. Text me the address.”

Carter gets up, throwing his uneaten food in the trash as I pick at my grapes. My belly is in fucking knots excited about tonight. Then I feel him lean over, his lips at my ear, “I can handle it.” He murmurs before whisking away.

My forehead slams on the table. Why does he have to have a girlfriend? Can’t he break up with her for like three hours? That’s all I need for a real good plow. In all pretense, ten minutes would be longer than anything I’ve been through, but I watch porn. I know there are men out there that can go for a long fucking time. I just got screwed over with love. I’m over love. It’s great and all, but love can’t fuck me till I’m hoarse and raw. Love can’t fill my pussy and cum on my tits. I don’t want to love. As I said, I want a beast. And I’m going to find one tonight.

Chapter Two


When I get home, I take the longest shower in history. It’s been about two weeks since I shaved. Despite it being summer, I don’t go anywhere, lost in self-pity and I’ve been wearing pants and leggings for the last couple of weeks. Now, I take the time to abuse my razor and shave my hairy pits, my bear looking legs and my beaver vagina. The vagina takes a bit as I sit in the shower with the removable showerhead and get in real deep. I’ve never shaved so well. I attempt to get in between my ass cheeks and though I manage enough, I have no clue how it looks. I search for a portable mirror. When I get out, I sit up on the sink and look around for any stray hairs. I’m not a vagina person. It doesn’t seem very appetizing with all its twisting skin. But whatever. I’m not the one that has to look at it.

The idea of someone looking at it! Of someone kneeling between my legs and shoving their tongue inside. I know people do that. I’ve seen it. Why did I get the only man on the planet that wouldn’t eat pussy?

That brings up the question: How to make pussy taste good? I’m on google in my towel for a half hour before I surmise, you can’t. A healthy pussy is a tasteful pussy and I think I at least got that.

I put on pajamas and stand in the middle of my small one-bedroom apartment. I don't have any furniture aside from a bed and a computer. My ex took everything (not that he bought any of it) and I've not had extra money to fill it.

Being an intern, I barely make thirty grand a year but it's enough for one person and I have a fridge stock with food. I do have enough money in savings but I'm probably going to have to buy a new car soon. My sad little Ford is about to die out.

I stand in my tiny closet now with a peanut butter and jelly in my hand. I have one dress. One single dress that I bought after my breakup. I was under the impression that there would be some flashing light above my head that told all the single men out there that I was ready for a rebound but surprise, surprise, I went a whole week without one guy hitting on me. The dress has since moved to the back of the closet.

Five years I was with my ex and I was hit on consistently by all types of men. Then the moment I’m free, I’m emit a stench like a skunk, keeping everyone at a ten-foot distance.

Not tonight. Tonight, I am going to express my need for a one-night stand and see who steps up to the plate. I pray for Carter but the three other men at the office are good looking and sweet. Two of them are gay but that’s not the point. I don’t care who takes the bait just as long as I don’t come home tonight to find comfort in my vibrator.

The dress is my kind of slutty. It’s tight, hugging my large hips, my big breasts, and petite butt. I can’t have it all and I’d rather have big tits than a big ass. I make up for my average sized butt with a flat belly and thick thighs. I was a runner in high school and that muscle doesn’t fade.

I squeeze into it. It’s a halter dress so my boobs are prominent and ends at the middle of my thighs. As long as I don’t bend over, my thong won’t show.

I stand in front of the mirror deciding how I want to do my hair. I wear my hair in a tight bun every day and I think that’s why everyone assumes I’m a ‘goodie-two-shoes’. I look like a wind-up doll about to combust.

Today, I’m gonna be loose. I’m going to show everyone that I can have fun.

I curl my brown locks and I feel like a supermodel. After applying eyeliner, eye shadow and a bit of lipstick, I slip my feet into high heels. I grab my purse off the couch, and I’m gone.

I feel like everyone drives super fucking slow. They can sense I’m in a hurry. They try to get the light. I know they fucking do. They slow before it turns yellow and stops before it turns red. They’re lucky I don’t own a gun.

I pull up to the beach house and sit in my car to stare at it. All the lights are on and there is music blaring. Two stories of all glass windows. It’s on stilts, a requirement when so close to the ocean. My boss is rich being the owner of his own law firm. I’m not surprised he has something like this.

I can see everyone inside. There are about ten people and half of them my co-workers. I’m glad I didn’t over dress. The women all look like hookers, just like me.

Carter sees me walking up and he pops over to the door. He’s dressed in swimming trunks, exposing his muscled abs, his perfectly shaped chest and his thick biceps. What he must do for a body like that.

Do men shave chest hair?

The door opens wide, “Look who here’s! Mila!” He hollers but he is the only one who cares. The girls glance my way surprised and then whisper to each other.

“Holy shit.” He mumbles, his gaze going from top to bottom and I flush under his scrutiny. “I, uh, I didn’t know you dressed like this.”

I give a fake smile. I don’t dress bad typically. I just don’t dress for sex because I’m at work. But I’m not at work today!


As I step in, my boss Vic gets up from the couch. He’s a 200-pound black guy with a bald head. He has a gorgeous face and surprisingly green eyes. He’s friendly and very easy to get along with.

In front of him is a bowl of weed and rolling papers. He stutters, flicking his eyes over the table, realizing how bad this looks.

I quickly hold up my hand, “I don’t care. Relax.”

He fastens his accusing eyes to Carter, “You could have said you invited her.”

“You asked for girls, I got girls.”

“It’s not highly appropriate.”

“I won’t tell anyone.” I promise, turning the conversation, “Can I get a drink?”

He smirks. “Wanna hit?”

“No. I don’t do drugs. But I can drink.”

“See?” Vic’s partner and boyfriend, Michael nudges Carter, “I told you she’s a prude.”

Vic growls, “You knew she was coming? Why didn’t you tell me?” He changes his tone when he addresses me, “Mila, we don’t do this often. Please be assured--”

“Vic, I said it’s fine. I don’t care.”

He’s obviously unhappy, “Can I talk to you outside?” He orders Carter. With a curse under his breath, he follows Vic out onto the balcony. Despite being unable to hear, I can still see them argue.

Michael sits back down to continue rolling the blunts.

“Hey, Mila.” Laura calls me over to the girls’ section. I don’t mean to be rude but I’m not here to talk to girls. I wave but move to the drink table, making myself a bay breeze, my eye on Carter as he fights with Vic.

Laura approaches. She's a sweet girl that works in the office on the bottom floor. When I take lunch outside, she joins my lonely bench and doesn't stop talking the whole half hour. I admit there are times when I avoid her like the plague, but I welcome her presence now.

“I didn’t think you’d come to a party. It’s nice to see you out of work. You’ve got beautiful hair. You should wear it down more often.”

“Thanks. I’m branching out. Trying new things.”

“I heard you just went through a bad break up.”

“Yeah. But I’m over it. Ready to move on.”

“You know,” She begins with a secret smile. She nudges toward Carter, “He broke up with his girlfriend a few days ago.”


“Yeah. Vic threw this party for his broken heart.”

“He broke up with her?”

“He found out she was cheating.”

“What!” I nearly screech. Who would cheat on him? He’s the whole freaking package. He’s funny, he’s gorgeous, he’s got a good paying job, he’s ambitious. There is nothing wrong with him.

Then that sneaky little question pops in: What if he has a small dick? Do sexually satisfied women cheat?

I almost want to ask.

“But I’d move quick.” She whispers in my ear, “Bianca is on the hunt.”

We turn to look at her. She has skin like Hersey’s chocolate and a body like a pornstar. But I’m not too bad myself. I don’t feel threatened by her. If I put myself in the ring, I’ll knock her out cold. But should I? If Carter is interested in her, I’m not going to fight for anyone to look my way.

“Carter deserves better than her. He’s like my brother and I love him. Which is why, I was wondering what your thoughts on Carter are?”

I shrug, “He’s gorgeous.”

She giggles.

“But I’m not looking for anything serious.”

“Good. Neither is he.” She slips away as Carter and Vic reenter the house.

Carter approaches with an annoyed smile, “Even when we aren’t at work, he thinks he’s the boss.”

“Is it a problem that I came? I could leave.”

“No, don’t worry about it. A couple pulls and he’ll relax. Got yourself a drink?”


“Laura tell you I split with my ex?”

“Yeah, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. Two years wasted. Don’t fucking get it.”

“Some people are just unhappy people. Has nothing to do with you.”

He makes himself a drink, “What about you? I know you broke up with your boyfriend a bit ago. What was his problem?”


He takes a sip, nodding.

“He had a small dick.”

Carter covers his mouth as he spits, coughing, darting for a napkin and dapping his chin. His wide eyes are on me as he nods, “Oh.” Then a smile spreads on his lips, “I can see that being a problem.”

I shrug, “Not my problem anymore.”

He’s cackling, “I’ve been so wrong about you.”


“Just what everyone else thinks, you know, that you’re uptight.”

I shrug, “This isn’t high school. I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks of me.”

He leans into my ear, “What about what I think of you?”


Chapter Three

My body shivers from his lips teasing my earlobe.  He is a natural at flirtation.  I want to be this good.  I want to seduce a man with a single sentence.  But how?  What do I say?  Do I have the confidence to pull something like that off?

“Carter.” Bianca interrupts.  She waves him over and he darts to her. She hugs him with her devilish eyes on me and they quickly delve into a conversation.

So it’s gonna be like that, Bianca.

I guess I better step up to the plate. He’s hit on me twice today. I’m not about to lay down and die because she gave me a look. My heart pounds in my chest on all the things I want to do or say. I need some segue into getting Carter to see me as a sexual figure. Right now I’m a safe friend. I want to be a bad influence. I swallow my entire drink and set the cup down.

Here I go.

With my breasts out and my head high, I move toward Carter. A hand on his shoulder as I press my tits into his back and I whisper into his ear, “I may not be upright.  But I am tight.” 

I strut away quite proud of myself, resting on the couch. I can feel his eyes on me but I don’t look back. I’ll let it brew till he comes looking for me.

Did that make sense?

It doesn’t matter. It sounded sexy enough.

Vic tries to make it seem normal. He’s rolling blunts like a professional while attempting to have a conversation with me about work. The hypocrisy of it isn’t lost to me. We’re lawyers and yet they’ve got enough weed to last them the weekend. Like I said, I don’t care but it is kind of funny.

Michael gets up and claps his hands, “Girls, girls! It’s time for the beach.”

Without hesitation, all the girls peel off their dresses and drop them on the floor. They are in bikinis with their ass cheeks hanging out and a top that does nothing to cover the breasts but hides the small portion of their nipples.

Carter comes over to me and I reveal I didn’t bring a suit.

“It’s alright. We’ll stay up here.”

Michael chases the girls out, slapping their asses as he goes. I’m confused by that. He seems gay enough but the way he grins watching them take off throws me.

Carter sits down next to me, “That comment before.” He meets my eyes before they drop to my breasts, “Did you mean what I think you meant?”

“I thought it was pretty obvious.”

“I want to be sure though. You’re not drunk or anything right?”

I cackle. “A woman has to be drunk to be horny?”

HIs brows rise and then he laughs, “No. No. I didn’t say that.” His hand rests on my naked thigh and he moves in close, so his lips are near mine, “I don’t want you to regret it.”

“The only reason I’d regret it, is if you had a small dick too.”

He chuckles against my lips barely touching me but I can feel his smile, “Want to find out?”

My heart is pounding, and I can only nod.

“Go ahead.” He grabs my hand and places it on his knee. “Don’t be scared.”

“Oh, I’m far from scared.” I slip my hand up his leg fast and cup his cock. He’s hard already and I can trace the outline through his swimsuit and every inch leads to more and more excitement. “Oh, god.” I whimper against his face.

“You approve?”

“How do you hide this?” 

He grins, gripping my chin, aligning my lips with his, “If you want to back out, I won’t stop you.”

“What makes you think I will?”

“You are out of my league.”

I shrug, “Maybe.” He chuckles. “But I don’t mind slumming it for an hour.”

He shakes his head, “Baby, you got yourself a man now. An hour is just the beginning.”

“All talk. Let’s see some action.” I press my lips to his, just a simple taste test.  Then his lips part and his tongue shyly wiggles out, daring me for more.  I touch his tongue with my own, swirling like a tornado.  I swing my leg over his lap, sucking on his tongue, my hands spreading on his chest. His big hands grip my ass, digging his nails into my skin. His mouth falls from mine and he licks at my neck, kissing my collarbone, burying his face between my breasts.

Someone sits beside us. I snap my head over to find my boss, Vic, intensely staring at us. I sink, pulling but Carter’s got me by the hips.

“He’s got a big dick too, baby. You think you can handle both of us?”

“Both of you?”

Vic has a hand at his crotch, “I could just watch if you don’t want too.”

Two dicks. Two big, humongous dicks. How can I say no? This is Heaven. It has to be mother fucking heaven.

“I, uh, I thought you were gay.”

“I’m Bi, actually. I love Michael but pussy is pussy.”

Carter is kissing my neck, pulling me back into my sexually induced excitement, sweeping away the nervousness I feel as my boss stares at us. Carter yanks down my halter dress and my tits pop out. His tongue is on my nipple, flicking it in rapid succession and my eyes close, holding him close.

Vic shifts closer and his hand spreads down my ass, cupping my skin. He pulls my dress up, exposing my thong and his hand squeezes the fat skin. He smacks it lightly, just enough to make me jump. I’ve never been smacked before. I didn’t think I’d like it so much. He seems to notice and slaps me again, a little harder and I moan in Carter’s hair.

“Guess you were right.” Vic murmurs, “She’s horny as fuck.”

Carter grips the back end of my underwear and pulls it, pressing it flat against my pussy and I arch my back pushing into it. “How many times a day do you masturbate?”

I am flexing my hips, trying to relieve the pressure building up against my clit. “Three.”

“Show us.”

Carter twists and drops me on the couch.

“Show you?” 

He kneels in front of me, spreading my legs, my feet up on the couch. He takes my fingers and sucks on them. My mouth opens, wanting his tongue back down my throat. Vic grabs a knee and his other hand cups my breast, pinching my nipples. “Beautiful fucking tits.” He groans.

Carter places my hand against my pussy. “Show us.” He demands once more and with his fingers on the back of mine, he rotates gently over my panties. He kisses my thighs before he stands up and stares down at me. His dick creates a tent in his swimming shorts, and I stare at it, imagining it and my fingers move a little faster and press a little harder.

Vic stands up next to him, his eyes all over me. They pin to my breasts and I grab my tit, rolling the nipple between my thumb and forefinger. It makes me moan and twist, my speed increasing.

Carter unties the lace of his trunks.  All I can do is stare, begging for it to be this perfect cock that I’ve been waiting for. “You want to see my dick?”

“I want to see it.” I beg.

He pushes his shorts down and they fall to his feet. Eight inches of thick, fat meat stare at me with one slit for an eye. It’s already dripping, and he rubs the tip of it, spreading the precum on his length as he slowly jerks himself off.

Vic unbuckles his pants and pushes his clothes to the floor. Another massive snake joins the party and I can’t fathom it. All this time, I’ve been praying and here they are, these two pillars of hope. I can’t speak, flabbergasted by the utter beauty of their cocks.

“You want to taste?”

Fuck yes. I manage to keep my mouth shut and sink to the floor, on my knees in front of them. I look up at them full of wonder. If I touch them will they disappear? Is this all an illusion and I’m really in a dry desert staring at mirages?

I grip Carter. My fingers don’t touch as they encircle his girth. Then I look to Vic’s and I latch a hold of that as well. They are both in my hands and the reality of it all could reduce me to tears if I wasn’t so fucking horny.

They step closer, bringing their cocks right to my lips. They stand like dueling swords, one on each side of my face. My mouth opens and my tongue sticks out. A gentle touch, a barely-there-at-all touch. Yet they both groan and curse. A hand rests on the back of my head and guides me to Carter’s. I kiss his tip, flicking my tongue across it then I flip to Vic’s, giving him the same courtesy. Though they contrast in color; the veins, the skin, the slit in the center, is all the same.  Twin pipes in my hands. 

I turn to Carter and swallow his cock, sucking and bobbing my head while I jerk off Vic. It’s a hard feat to accomplish and it takes me a minute to get a rhythm but neither of them complain. They are relatively quiet despite the heavy breathing. After sucking Carter for a good minute, I switch and give Vic the same treatment, sucking and licking. Their cocks fill up my mouth, I can’t get it near the back of my throat before I gag. I wish I could inhale them all the way down my throat but it’s not possible.

I make up for it though with vigilance. My tongue lathers each one of their ball sacks. I take my time exploring every inch. I’ve never sucked dick so long in my life but I’m on my knees until it starts to hurt.

Vic lifts me up and throws me on the couch, spreading my legs as he kneels in front of me. He pulls off my panties and grips me under my knees, pushing them up toward my chest, exposing my pussy.

“Holy shit.” He groans. “Look at this.”

Carter takes my leg and kneels beside Vic, “What a perfect cunt.” He bites into my calf muscle as Vic leans his face in.

“She was ready for tonight.”

“Oh, fuck yeah.” Carter agrees, meeting my eyes, smirking proudly, “You’ve been thinking about me?”

“Maybe.” I pant, concentrating on Vic. He’s kissing my thigh, inching closer and closer.

“You touch yourself with me on your mind?”

I nod, swallowing incapable of speaking.  Vic’s tongue slides up the crack between my thigh and groin. He’s so fucking close I can feel his breath on my pussy.

“Vic, I want to eat her first.”

Vic pulls back and sits beside me. He grabs my hand and wraps it around his cock. Carter is between my legs now. His thumbs part my lips and with one last look at me, he dives in. His tongue flattens against my pussy and he gives it one solid good lick like he’s licking frosting off a spoon. Again, and again he goes from the bottom of my pussy to the top. I’m shuddering, gasping, moaning, losing my fucking mind. “Eat me. Eat my pussy.” I growl, holding his head against me. “Like it’s the last damn pussy you’ll ever eat.”

He increases his speed, his tongue waving like a flag in a hurricane. Then his fingers touch my clit, rubbing it back and forth at a speed I can’t comprehend. My mouth is open, I can’t make any noise or move any muscle as I bask at the amazing pleasure that’s overriding all my fucking senses.

I’m so close to an orgasm, one I didn’t give myself. “Don’t stop.” I beg.

But he slows down anyway, his anxiousness decreasing. He looks up at me. My breasts between us. My belly rises and falls as I catch my breath. He moves his head slowly back and forth, so his nose is rubbing my clit and his tongue is gentle between my lips, like he’s making love. But I want war.

He pulls back, “Vic, you want some?” He rubs his mouth as he gets up.

Vic takes his place and he grabs my hips, forcing me down till my chin is touching my chest and my legs are nearly in the air, bent over his shoulders.

Carter sits beside me, a finger casually flicking across my nipple, “Vic is better than me at eating pussy.”

I watch as Vic kisses my vagina lips, “How is that possible?” I pant. I don’t give a shit if I look like a clam. Contort me in any way you want and give me what I need.

Carter smiles as he kisses me, “You taste like a fucking lollipop.  I could eat you all day.”

“God yes.”

Vic uses one hand but two fingers to spread my lips. Then his tongue is flat against my clit and he rolls the wet appendages over the nub. I gasp, sucking in breath. The pleasure is impossible to express as all sound ceases from me, caught in my throat.

His other hand sinks beneath his chin and a finger slips inside. “Oh, God,” I manage convulsing.

Carter is chuckling, “You’ve been wanting this, haven’t you?”

“You have no idea.”

His finger is gentle, going in and out, in and out. He pops it out again and sucks on it before slowly slipping it back inside. “She’s soaked.” He murmurs against me.

“Are you ready to get fucked, Mila?”

“I was ready when I walked through the door.”

“Have you ever had two cocks at once?”

Vic is still eating me out and I barely manage a ‘no’.

“Virgin ass, I bet.”

I nod. Vic’s tongue flickers across my clit with a speed that’s not human. His finger is moving faster and faster. My hips are moving on the will of their own, pleading for release, begging for more. I want to cum so fucking bad. Please. “Please.” I whimper.

Carter pinches my nipple. “This is the preshow. If you stay tonight, we’ll give you anything you want. Any way you want. You think you want to stay?”

Vic’s head is shaking back and forth, his tongue flat on my clit and the buildup is coming.  My mouth falls open ready for a scream.

Then there is laughter from outside and Vic pulls away, snatching up his pants.

Carter grabs my hand, pulling me to my feet and I’m barely aware, pulling my dress into place. I’m shaking and panting, and my face is a bright red tomato. Everyone’s going to notice. He yanks on his shorts as the girls burst through the doors, laughing and dripping wet. “I’m cold!” They squeal, collapsing on the couch, snuggling up together.

“Carter!” Bianca questions, “Why didn’t you come down?”

“We were hanging out up here.”

The girls eye me and then they whisper together, giggling. I hate women like them.

Michael steps past me and snatches something up from the floor. He grabs my hand, giving me my wadded up wet panties. “Go freshen up.” He quietly tells me.  I dive out of the room with laughter following me.


Chapter Four


I’m sitting on the toilet in the bathroom. My whole body is numb, but not in a good way.  It’s the aftermath of a failed orgasm. Too many times I knew this feeling, It crushes me.  Negative feelings devour all my excitement and I’m stuck in a state of misery.  

What the hell am I doing here?  I almost had a threesome!   With my boss!  He took off my panties, ate my pussy like he loved it, and played with my titties.  How am I ever going to look him in the face again?  We have a professional relationship.  Yeah, he’s hot, but I didn’t allow myself to think of him in that way because he was supposed to be gay. 

 And because he’s my fucking boss!

Did I get in a car crash on the way over here and now I’m actually dying somewhere, and this is what my brain creates to ease my pain?  That would make sense.  More sense than the fact that this is reality. 

Did I really do that?  Did I, myself, me, actually have oral sex? I had two dicks in my mouth at the same time.  Two!  Who’s going to believe me?  I certainly don’t fucking believe it.  

Oh, I’m a slut.  I’m a slut, slut, slut.

But I liked it.  

Now I’m a bigger slut.

I want to smash my fist in my ex’s face.  All the time he made me think I was dirty.  Every time he curled at the very idea of licking my cunt and Carter told me I tasted like a damned lollipop.  He loved it!   Funny how it was never dirty when I sucked that bastard’s cock, but god forbid that hypocrite goes down on me. Why did I waste my time?  Why did I stay for five freaking worthless years when I could have been doing that?  

I wash my face and my neck.  There is a small little hickie where Carter’s mouth was.  I want more.  I want to be manhandled so badly that when they’re done I can’t walk.  But I don’t know if I’m ready for two.  

And it’s my boss! 

I gotta get out of the bathroom or I’m going to get sucked into a panic attack.  

When I return, the three girls are dancing in the middle of the living room together with Michael and Vic.  Hands are everywhere and it’s on the verge of an orgy.  I can’t do that either.  Maybe I don’t belong here.  I glance toward the door.  It would be easy to slip out.  No one would notice.

Carter’s at the bar and he turns over his shoulder.  The moment he sees me he sets down his beer and approaches.  

“Want to go outside?”

Fresh air sounds exactly like what I need.  He takes my hand and leads me out to the deck.  It’s nearly midnight and dangerously dark.  A sliver of the moon is the only thing to light up the ocean that’s barely a hundred feet away.  The smell of saltwater is in the wind and I wrap my arms around myself, shivering.  Carter is behind me and rests his hands on my waist.  I almost lean into his body but that would cause too much emotion. I don’t want my stupid hormonal self to make this more than what it is. 

“You okay?”

I nod.  

Carter senses my distance, attempting to catch my face.  “Thought you weren’t scared.”

“I’m not.” I assure.  

“What’s wrong then?”

“I didn’t cum.”

He chuckles into my skin.  He pushes forward till I hit the railing. He grabs onto it, leaning over me, and thrusts into my ass.  It sends a wave of excitement, drowning out my momentary depression. “Don’t worry.  We’re not done yet.”

“I’ve waited too long already.”

“I’d fuck you right here, if I could.”

I look over my shoulder, “Why can’t you?”

He grabs my hair, pulling my back against his chest and I suck in a wicked breath, my heart pounding. “You want everyone to see you get fucked?”

In all honesty, I’d forgotten about everyone.   I almost don’t care but I can’t do it.  

“How many times do you want to cum tonight?”

“How many?  Isn’t once enough?”

He laughs and turns me around.  With a hand gripping my hair, he kisses me.  His tongue is deep in my throat and mine is deep in his. I know what this tongue can do and I want to treat it like it’s a fucking god.  

He backs away and breathes against my lips, “We’ll say five.”

“Five? Five orgasms?  Is that possible?”

“Five the first hour.” He promises.  

I scoff, “Yeah, right.”

“This boy of yours certainly failed you.  I won’t misuse your body.  I’ll give you everything you’ve been dying for.”

“Promises. Promises.”

Carter chuckles once more, kissing me, “I’m certainly glad I invited you.” 

The door swings open and Bianca steps out.  Carter steps away from me and I fix my dress. “We’re going to play beer pong.  Thought we could be a team.”

“Sounds good.  Let’s set it up.” He looks back at me, “You play?”

“I hate beer.”

Bianca interjects, “Sounds about right.” She spins so her hair waves behind her.  

Hating beer is somehow connected to being stuck up?  Why does it feel like high school?

Michael and Vic have already set up the table.  I take a seat at the bar with the other girls after I grabbed water from the fridge.  

Bianca notices and she pouts, “We don’t have your type of wine cooler?”

Just trying to get the taste of dick out of my mouth.  

I should say it.  I want to say it so badly, but I take a sip of water and swallow it down. 

Carter grabs Bianca’s arm, “Let’s go. You first.”

The game is painful to watch.  I didn’t know grown women act like her.  Every time she gets a ball in or he does, she hugs him. He glances toward me but I’m not interested.  She can plop her pussy down on the fucking table and I still wouldn’t give a shit. 

I feel bad for her.  She tries so hard.  Carter is more annoyed than attracted.  I’m sure I used to be this desperate when my ex-boyfriend was playing video games, too fucking involved to care when I would walk by naked.  Now I’ve learned respect for myself.  

When they win the game, she grabs his cheeks and kisses him but it’s so quick, he wasn’t ready for it.  He shoves her off. “What the fuck, Bianca?”

Her smile falters. “Oh come on. I was only celebrating.”

“Just lay off, would you?”

He rubs his mouth and comes toward me.  Bianca is beyond embarrassed and darts out of the room.  “Sorry.” He murmurs. 

I ignore it.  It’s not his fault she’s a fool.  “You played good.”

He leans into my lips, “Are you my prize?” 

I open my mouth and his tongue slips between my lips.  I pull away with a grimace, “You taste like beer.”

Carter smirks, “So you don’t mind kissing me when I taste like your pussy but beer is no good?” I shove him.  He calls Vic, “You got mints, bro?”

“Yeah in the left cabinet of the kitchen.”

“Gay guys have everything.” He tells me and hops over to get it.  I get one too.  It helps with the dick taste. 

Laura rushes up to us and there is a panic in her face as she violently whispers, “She’s calling Jazzi.”

“What? Fuck.” Carter runs down the hall. 

“Who’s Jazzi?”

“His ex.”

I grimace.  I hate drama and this is almost becoming more than I can handle.  I thought I’d never have to deal with mean cheerleaders and ex-girlfriends after high school was over.  I don’t want to put up with it but I know what’s coming at the end of it all: Me.  I can trudge through the teenage theatricals.  

Laura nudges me with a giddy grin, “So I’m happy to see you and Carter have gotten close.”

I nod with excitement. “He’s exactly what I’ve been waiting for.”

“No falling in love.”

“Nope.  Not a problem.”

“Though secretly I hope you do.  You guys are cute together.”

“Don’t curse me.”

“You don’t want another relationship?”

“Not yet.  I went from one long term to the next.  Four years with a boy from high school then five years with this last one.  I just want to be free.”

“And get plowed.”

“Of course.”

She laughs.  She flicks my hair over my shoulder, smoothing it out.  She’s always like this, in my personal space but I don’t mind.  It reminds me of my sister.  “I’m so glad you came.  I feel like you’re getting out of your shell.  Everyone at work thought you were high maintenance.  But your jokes told me otherwise.”

“I am pretty funny.”

She giggles.  

Carter returns, leaning on the bar with a heavy sigh.  “I’m over crazy.  Are you crazy?” He asks me. “Tell me now.  I’ll still fuck ya but tell it to me straight.”

“I’m not crazy.”

“You’re rare.”  

“I’ve known that since middle school.”

“Wasn’t I right?” Laura smacks him. 

“You were right.” He concedes.  

So it was Laura that got Carter to invite me. That makes sense.  This invitation was so out of the blue. I’ve known these people for a couple months now, and this is the first time I ever knew about a party.  I’m really glad I’m here. 



Chapter Five


At two in the morning, the party is pretty much over. The girls are passed out on the couch, wrapped up around one another.  Michael and Vic have disappeared into a bedroom.  Carter and I are the only two still kicking.  We’ve been talking for the last hour about the imperfections of our exes.  It feels good to bash.  For a while I believed I didn’t have a right to talk bad about him because I was the one that broke up with him.  I destroyed his life, as he constantly tells me through drunken text messages.  

Carter still has a lot to process.  Being cheated on takes time to heal and he is in no place to have a relationship.  It makes him the perfect bed partner.  Friends with benefits.  Nothing wrong with that. 

He leads me outside and I’m giddy.  I feel like the time has finally arrived.  I’ve been waiting for decades and the moment is here.  What if it’s a letdown?  What if there is something wrong with me and I can’t have orgasms?  What if his cock is more painful than pleasurable?  It is massive and all I’ve had in the past ten years are three-inch carrots.  What if I can’t take him in?  What if he breaks my pussy?

Can that happen?  I should have googled it. 

There’s a hot tub in the corner of the deck.  It’s dark everywhere and I can only make the outline of his body.  He flips off the cover and presses the button for the lights.  It illuminates us and I’m relieved.  I want to watch my pussy eat his cock.  Otherwise it would feel like too much of a dream and I don’t want to be dreaming. 

He pulls my dress down, my tits popping out.  I’m already panting, and he hasn’t even touched me.  My nipples are sharp and are a beacon for his attention.  His mouth swallows my whole boob, sucking on the fat.  His tongue dances over my skin making me mew like a cat.  He gives them ample attention for several minutes before he yanks my dress down to my feet, kneeling in front of me.  He kisses each of my thighs, his hands riding up to my ass and he grips it, squeezing.  His face buried between my legs and the clothes aggravates me.  I pull off my own panties and then push his face back in.  He’s laughing as he licks. 

He slaps my ass and stands up. “Let’s get in.” He removes his own pants.  I grab his cock as I climb the steps and he stumbles, trying to keep up.  I sink into the water and turn around, watching him climb in.  I approach and he sits on the ledge.  

I look up at him innocently enough and he has a sexy smirk on his face.  He grips his own cock, wagging it, “Come on.  Give it a taste.”

I take his dick gently in my hand, caressing every little bit of it, resting my lips on the tip, sucking and sliding my tongue up and down.  I suck on his balls, my tongue fully out as I look up at him.  His head is thrown back and all I see is his Adam’s apple bobbing as he moans.  

Carter lowers into the water and grabs my legs, wrapping me around his hips.  His cock between us, rubbing my pussy lips.  I want to put him in, but any attempt is thwarted. He turns me around, my ass now in his lap with his dick squished between us.  His hand goes between my legs.  They delicately touch the area between my thigh and groin, teasing.  A finger brushes my vagina and I jerk. .  

“You want me to finger you?  Or you want to wait for my dick?”

“I want to cum.  I don’t care how.”

He chuckles into my ear.  With slow ministrations, his fingers find my clit and circle around it, rubbing it like it’s the special spot behind a dog’s ear.  I mew and twist, wanting more. 

“You think you can make me cum like this?” I challenge, trying to push him into sinking his fingers into me.

“I know I can.”

“Do it.”

“Be patient.” He whispers, kissing the side of my neck. 

One hand is on my breast, tweaking my nipple while the other slowly sinks a finger inside.  Carter groans, “It’s hotter than the damn jacuzzi.  I want to feel that pussy around my cock so fucking badly.”

“Please.” I beg.

He begins to increase his speed, pumping a finger in and out.  His other hand drops beneath the water and three fingers rotate around my clit.  I move my hips against his fingers.  The pleasure from my clit is driving me crazy.  I’m rubbing myself, my big tits in my hands, squeezing my nipples till they're painful.  He does something I’ve only seen in porn.  With two fingers deep inside, he shakes his hand, rocking my entire body, hitting my G-spot with expert precision.  He rubs the top of my clit, at a pace so fast that the water splashes around us and makes waves.  My body arches right on the verge of cumming and then he sticks his fingers back inside, thrusting them like a dick.  I cum on his hand, my breath, my voice, my world is gone and I’m skyrocketing to outer space. 

I collapse against him, panting, moaning from the aftermath as he plays with my nipples. 

“Seven minutes.  Impressive.”

“Seven minutes?” I murmur, “Is that bad?  Did I take too long?”

He chuckles into my neck, “You take however long you need too.  I’m just dividing my time up.  I said you’d have five orgasms in an hour.  Now I’m down to four in fifty-three minutes.”

I turn to him, kissing him, thanking him.  I want to cry I’m so deliciously happy.  I hug him and he’s laughing at me.  

“Girl, you have been deprived for too long.”

“I have.  I really, really have.”

“Let’s go upstairs.  I don’t want to waste any of my time.”

I nearly run.  I want more of everything and I don’t want to waste another minute.  We didn’t bring any towels and we hold our clothes to our bodies.  He has me by the hand as we tiptoe past the sleeping lionesses.  He dives into the first room he comes too and our clothes are gone.  He has me up against the door, lifting my feet off the floor.  I wrap my legs around his waist.  His cock rubbing me, slipping and sliding. 

He carries me to the bed and lays me down but pops up, “You want Vic to join?”

I shake my head.  I’m not ready for a threesome.  Just give me regular dick in vagina sex and I’ll be forever grateful. 

He goes to the nightstand, opening a drawer.  He tosses condoms on the bed, lube, and a vibrator.  It’s a little off putting.  He didn’t care who he got to fuck tonight; he was just fucking.  

“It’s all Vic’s.  Don’t think I’m a weirdo carrying all this shit around.  I haven’t fucked anyone since Jazzi.”

“I’m a rebound, huh?”

“Am I a rebound?” He wonders.

I nod. 

“Three months.  No wonder you’re horny.”

“Shut up.” 

He snatches the vibrator, “Let me wash this, just to be safe.”  There’s a guest bathroom and he flicks the light on.  

I move to the pillows, burying myself under.  I’m freezing and probably having a slight anxiety attack.  This is a lot for me to take in.  It’s moving fast and yet moving slow.  I almost feel like he’s taking his time and I wonder if he’s doing it for me or for himself.  What if he’s not ready?

I haven’t even thought about him.  I’m a terrible freaking person.  I sit up, wrapping my arms around my legs and Carter comes back in.  He stops short, “What’s wrong?”

“Are you ready to do this?”

He tosses the vibrator on the bed as he plops beside me, “You are very impatient.” He laughs.

“I’m talking about you.  Are you okay with this?”

“Of course.  Why are you asking me that?”

I bite my lip. “You don’t seem to be in a hurry.”

He lowers his eyes to the blanket, picking at the fabric.  There it is.  He’s going to bail. 

“I was waiting for you to leave.”


“I didn’t want to push.  I don’t have one night stands often and I’m a little nervous, I guess.  Plus, since yesterday, I thought you were this virgin do-gooder.  I’m still waiting for you to like, I don’t know, realize what you’re doing?  That sounded bad.”

It's a cuteness overload and I might cry.   This has been one emotional night.  

I remove the covers and get on my knees.  I wrap my arms around his neck, “Listen close and listen good. I want you to fuck me like fucking me will save the planet.  Do you understand?  Anything you want to do-- except my ass--do it.  Make me do it.  I want to scream your fucking name all night.  Is that clear enough?”

He grips my thighs and pulls, throwing me back on the bed. I’m laughing as he crawls over me and his tongue buries in my mouth.  I cling to him, my legs around his waist, teasing the tip of his cock with every gentle move.  

He leans back, panting in my face, “I have thirty minutes to make you cum four times.”  He gets up on his knees, his cock resting on my pussy lips.  He grabs a condom and slips it over his girth.  Then he snatches the lube and rubs it all over it.  I’m panting, watching this moment like it’s been in my dreams.  I don’t know if his cock will fit but I’m sure as hell going to try. 

His finger slips into the wrap of the small vibrator and I hear the vibrations as he turns it on.  With my feet on his shoulders, he positions himself against my vagina. “Last chance, Mila.” he calls.

“Fuck me already.”

The tip pushes in.  Slow, steady, one inch at a time.  I was hoping for him to slam into me like I’ve read in books and seen in so many freaking porns.  But as I adjust, taking one inch at a time, I realize how much that would have fucking hurt.  I’m thankful for the lubrication because despite how wet I am, the condom requires more lube than I have.  My mouth is open, barely able to breath as he continues to push his massive cucumber into me.  The amount of care in his movements is gut-wrenching.  I don’t want him to be a nice guy or I’ll fucking fall for him.  And I don’t want to fall for anyone.  

He places the vibrator down on my clit.  He teases first, going gently as he attempts to push his cock in deeper.  “You’re too tight.” He groans.  “Thought you’d open up by now.”

“I told you I was tight.”

“You sure you’re not a virgin?”

The vibrator continues to move.  He separates my vagina lips with two fingers and hits my clit right on the button and I’m jerking like I’m riding a bronco.  It’s intense and sends my nerve endings into a crazy overdrive.  How does he know how to use this?  He’s so fucking good.  He knows every little spot.  He knows when to increase, when to change course, when to press hard and not stop.  “Don’t stop. I’m cumming.” I plea and the avalanche begins and I’m moaning and bucking. Having his dick in only intensifies an already massive orgasm.  I’m squeezing his cock and he pants just from the contractions.  

“That’s two.” He bites his lip.  “I’m finally in.  Are you okay?”

I nod anxiously, barely listening as I ride out my high.  

“Tell me if it’s too deep.”  

Then he fucks me.  He fucks me with all the muscle in his fucking body.  My titties bounce, my screams echo, and all I can say is ‘Oh god’ over and over and over again.  He pushes my knees up to my breasts and shoves his cock so far up I think I feel it in my belly.  “Too deep.”

He backs out, changes my legs so my feet are against his stomach.  He lifts my ass off the bed and pounds me.  I cum within ten thrusts.  

Carter pulls out, “That’s three.” 

He rolls my body onto my stomach and smacks my ass. “On your knees.”  I push my weakened body to my hands and knees as I feel him once more position his cock at my entrance. He slaps my ass again and again.  With a soaked cock it’s easier for him to slip in quick and he hits the back of my vagina “I’m all in.” He moans.  “You okay?”


He backs out a little.  He fucks me like that, smacking my ass every few seconds making me cry out.  He grabs my hair, pulling my head back and fucks me till I cum.  I collapsed against the bed.  


He moves so his feet are on the floor and drags my body to him.  He returns me to my back and keeps a hold of each ankle, spreading me wide.  He doesn’t need to hold his dick anymore.  It goes in smooth like a knife in butter.  Every thrust jolts the bed and it smacks the wall with a repetitive fashion that sounds like drumming. 

He has the vibrator again and rubs my clit vigorously as he fucks me.  I can’t breathe, gripping the bed sheets, unable to voice or make any sound.  I cum again, almost painfully and I’m shuttering.  Grabbing his hand, stopping his movements. 

He glances at the clock, “I still have three minutes.” He puts his knees on the bed, my legs shoved to my breasts and his hips rock, with his cock hitting my g-spot over and over again.  It takes less than a minute and I cum again.  He continues fucking and slaps the back of my thighs till he cums.  I watch him, the look on his face, the way his eyes close and his jaw clenches.  He shutters and I fucking love it.  

He falls away, panting as he goes into the bathroom.  The water runs and I’m left lying there on the bed, naked, battered, used, and completely and utterly satisfied.  

Carter returns with a washcloth and rubs my pussy, getting all the juices and lube off me before he tosses it to the floor and collapses next to me. He’s barely caught his breath, but he grips my arm and rolls me against him. “Ten minutes and then we go again.”


Chapter Six


When the morning comes, I can’t move.  My back hurts. My vagina hurts.  My mouth is dry.   My throat is raw.  And I’m fucking smiling.  

It exists!  

Why did I ever settle?  Why did I think I had too?  I deserve to be sexually happy!  Why isn’t this taught to women?  I never knew it was real.  I never thought it was important.  But it is.  Sex is so fucking important!

I’m never going to settle for less.  No, a guy doesn’t have to have an eight-inch cock and no, he doesn’t have to fuck me for hours.  He just has to care.  My pleasure needs to be a priority.  Carter showed me what it means when the guy cares.  It changes the whole course of events.  It’s not about the man getting off.  It’s about me.  And if there is one area where I get to be selfish, it should be in the bedroom. 

I take a shower, smiling. I get dressed, smiling.  And yes, I’m in my dress from yesterday and I don’t give a shit.  It’s not the walk of shame.  It’s the walk of fifteen orgasms. 


I had more orgasms in one night than I have had in five years. 

I want to tell someone.  I want to scream it.  I want the world to know:  it exists!

I walk out with my head held high.  Breakfast is cooking and everyone (except Bianca) is at the table. Upon seeing me, there is cheering and clapping, and I take a quick small bow.  Carter’s laughing as he comes up to me.  He rests his hands on my hips, extremely proud of himself. “Good morning.”

“It is definitely a good morning.” He kisses me briefly and then gets me a plate of eggs.  “I’m starving.” The table laughs.  But it’s the laughter of knowledge.  They’ve all had amazing sex and they knew. Why didn’t anyone tell me while I was wasting away with my ex?   

“We thought the house was gonna break.” Vic admits. 

“Oh god.” I laugh, hiding my embarrassed face.  

Carter adds, “She can take a beating, that’s for sure.”  I smack him and he’s cackling. 

Laura softly wonders, “So are you guys dating?”

I swiftly shake my head but Carter’s shrugs glancing at me with a smile at the same time. 

The atmosphere changes. The whole world goes quiet.  Then they burst up out of their seats and follow each other outside, talking about the sunrise and a walk on the beach, leaving Carter and I alone. 

“Um…” He begins. 

“I’m sorry if I--”

“No nono.  No misunderstanding.  It’s no big deal.”


“Mila, I’m good.  One-night stand.  We said that last night.” He gets up from the table and I’m on his heels grabbing his hand. 

“Please, please stay.”  He doesn’t move but he doesn’t look at me either.  “I’m not ready for a relationship.”

“Neither am I.  It was a joke.  I swear it.” He kisses my forehead and holds my face.  “I had a great time last night.  I know you did.  Let’s leave it like that, okay? I’m fine.”

“You sure you aren’t upset?”

“I’m fine.  I gotta get going though.  Gotta feed my cat.”  He detaches from me and I don’t know what to do because none of this feels fine.

He waves to everyone, grabbing his bag off the couch, slipping his feet into sandals.  “Come on, I'll walk you to your car.”

I take the invitation because I don’t want to leave him, and I don’t want him to leave me.  I want to stay in this bubble forever but it’s deflating, slowly and silently.  The awe feeling is fading. 

When we get to my car, he latches onto my hand.  “I want you to remember last night.  That’s it.  Not the before.  Not the after.  Just last night in that room. Okay?”

“I feel like a terrible person.”

“Mila, please don’t.  Forget it. Do me that favor since I feel like you owe me fifteen of them.”

I’m laughing, hugging him, “I do owe you.” I murmur, kissing his cheek, his chin, teasing his lips. 

“I might take you up on one, one day.”


He slaps my ass, gripping it before he lets me go, stepping away, “See you at work Monday.” 

I wave and drop into the car.  

Work. How the fuck am I going to work with him?  He fucked me in so many different ways last night I felt we did every page in the Kama sutra.  Oh, and my boss ate my pussy.   How do I face them?  Monday is going to kill me.   

I can’t wait. 

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